Sh!t My Husband Says

More hilarious head scratching conversations with my husband!

Talking about my upcoming shopping trip in Kelowna:
Me: I really want to find a new pair of boots for the winter.
Him: Your boots are so not good for winter! You need a pair with rubber soles and that can hold up.
Me: You mean Sorels?
Him: Yeah!
*I scrunch up my face*

Folding Isla’s laundry when he comes across her new swimsuit:
Him: I think you need to buy Isla a new swimsuit.
Me: What?? Why?
Him: It looks like a strap fell off!
Me: What? Let me see! *I inspect it and nothing is wrong with the suit* There’s nothing wrong with it. See? It’s a “one shoulder” suit! (There’s a spaghetti strap on one shoulder)
Him: This is going in your “Shit my husband says” blog, isn’t it?
Me: You know it.

After I saw a commercial on TV for diamond rings:
Me: They’re my best friend!
Him: But which would you rather have: A shiny, diamond ring, or your Macbook?
Me: … Macbook! It’s more handy.

I hear him say something from the kitchen right before we went to bed:
Me: What did you say?
Him: I was just saying goodnight to my phone, you know, since it’s in a bed of rice.
(Backstory: Kyle’s phone got some “drool damage” from Isla. She was really cranky while visiting family and chewing on his phone was the only thing that was making her happy. His phone had a good “sleep” and it’s working again.)

Sh!t My Husband Says

Sometimes, my husband says the sweetest things to me that remind me of how much I love him. Sometimes, he also says some thing that make me LOL or wonder if he’s from another planet. Here are some of the LOL and WTF moments:

After coming home from nightshift:
“You know that social club I’m a part of at work? I have to bring spinach dip to our luncheon on Sunday.”
Me: “So I have to make spinach dip on Saturday?”
Him:”Yeah.”

While driving in my car, “Billionaire” by Bruno Mars and that other guy whose name elludes me comes on my iPod:
“Isn’t this the guy who sings the tequila, marry me song?”

One of his coworkers is going to become a Dad in February …
“They should name the baby Thunderbolt. Thunderbolt Cassidy has a good ring to it.”
(I should mention that the coworker thought we should name our baby Hurricane or something like that.)

While watching the original Batman movie (the one with Adam West):
“Do you think they have WCB for super heroes?

Back when I was pregnant, Kyle bought me a whole pineapple to eat because it’s suppose to help induce labour …
Him: “I want you to eat this entire pineapple by tomorrow morning.”
Me: “No way! I’ll hurt so much!”
Him: “GET IT IN YAH, FATTY!”

I’m so lucky to have a husband that makes me laugh! His humour is exactly what I need sometimes.

What ridiculous things has your SO said lately?

Listy Friday

  • Tuesday was GORGEOUS outside so Kyle and I treated Campbell to a solo walk around the neighbourhood to practice his leash skills. I managed to go the whole walk without feeling like I had to pee 5 minutes in. This is major for a pregnant woman!
  • My Grandma’s Celebration of Life is tomorrow and I’m both looking forward to it and not looking forward to it. It’s going to be hard, but I think it will bring a little bit of closure to everyone in the family, especially since it’s already been 2 weeks since she’s passed. I still can’t believe that she’s gone. It’s just not fair.
  • I love NHL playoff season, but hate the bandwagoners who come along with it. My Facebook newsfeed is now full of people commenting on the games/the Canucks who generally don’t comment ever. Ugh. There’s also an increase in haters. Oh well. Time to filter the feed I suppose. (PS – Go Canucks, Go!)
  • I’m taking the last week of this month off of work since I still have 6 days of vacation days left in the bank. I have nothing planned and I’m okay with that.
  • My husband is the best selector of fresh produce. Seriously. I can’t pick a good apple to save my life, but the one I’m eating right now is AMAZING and Kyle selected it. There are life lessons to be made when you work at a produce stand for three years.
  • The slo-pitch season starts this weekend with the ice breaker tournament and I’m so sad that I can’t play. Boo to being pregnant! And just to torment myself a little more I’m going to go watch my team play on Sunday. I’m a sucker for punishment.
  • Anyone in Canada use Netflix? I received a month free in the mail the other day but I don’t know if it’s actually worth using. Thoughts? And for the record – I’m pretty sure the Canadian version of Netflix is different/lacking compared to the American version, so that’s why I ask.
  • It’s my Mom’s birthday today – Happy Birthday Mommy! You’re the best :)

Happy Friday everyone! What are your weekend plans?