Sh*t My Kid Says


Age four is a fun age. Full of energy, full of sass, and also full of surprises! Isla has certainly developed her own personality, and it really shows through some of the things she says, both adorable and bizarre.

It’s been a while since I’ve featured some of her gems, so here’s some quotes to make you go “Aww” as well as, “Oh my:”

While sitting at the table:
Her: “Mom, do you know what makes you special?”
Me: “No, what?”
Her: “I’m special.”


“Did you know that lobsters eat …. POOP?!?”


Me: “Please don’t touch the computer, Isla.”
Her: “Why not?”
Me: “Because it’s expensive and I don’t want you to break it.”
Her: “Why not?”
Me: “Because if it breaks we can’t replace it because money doesn’t grow on trees.”
Her: “Pineapples grow on trees!”


Talking about hunting with Kyle in the fall …

“Yeah, so we can shoot a deer IN THE FACE!!!”


Discussing at the dinner table how she’s going to have to learn how to tie her shoes …

Me, to Isla: “You’ll learn how to tie them eventually!”
Her, to Kyle: “Yeah, the lady in the zebra shirt said so!”

(She got the shoes at Footlocker. Ref shirt = Zebra shirt!)


“Moooooom, is it tomorrow today??” 


I can only imagine what Norah’s going to come up with when she can make sentences and not just scream and screech at everything ;)



Out of the Mouths of Babes

Have I mentioned before that 2-year olds are a piece of work sometimes? Seriously, some of the things that come of out Isla’s mouth are both hilarious and bizarre. Needless to say, here’s another edition of Out of the Mouths of Babes!

While I’m sitting at the computer working on a column:
Isla: Uh-oh, Mommy! There’s a bug! (She then walks up to me and wipes bug guts on my arm.)

While eating hot dogs for lunch, cows walk by behind our house…
Me: Look Isla, cows!!
Me: We eat cows, you know.
Her: Uh-huh.
Me: You know, your hot dog is also a cow.
Her: *blank, confused stare*

In Target, while I’m kneeling/squatting down looking at nail polish…
Her: You going potty, Mommy?
Me: No, Isla, I’m not going potty.

While in the hardware store, walking down the bulk nuts & bolts aisle…
Her: Look, Mommy! (Pointing at the random nuts & bolts)
Me: Those are nuts and bolts. We don’t need any of those!
Her: They’re BEEAAUUUtiful!

While at the dinner table, she stops what she’s doing and out of nowhere exclaims:
“Mommy?! YOU’RE DRUNK!”


Out of the Mouths of Babes

Isla’s vocabulary seems to be growing rapidly these days, and sometimes I wonder where she picks stuff up. The only television she watches for the most part is Sesame Street, so it’s not like she learns bad stuff. Still, sometimes she stuff that comes out of her mouth is downright hilarious. I present to you a new, unscheduled, whenever I have enough gems to make a post, series, Out of the Mouths of Babes.

Me: What would you like for lunch, Isla?
Her: Caesar salad!
Me: We don’t have any!
Her: Oh dear. Umm, pickles!!


Me: *Singing “Ridin’ Dirty” at the breakfast table, because it was stuck in my head*
Her: (With a disappointed look on her face) Mommy? No singing.


While sitting down and relaxing after a nice family dinner with Kyle’s grandparents, aunt & uncle, mom & step dad, Isla was just wandering around and playing by herself when out of the blue for no reason whatsoever …
Her: F*CK!
Everyone: …. *jaws drop then chuckles*


At bedtime just as I’m leaving her room …
Her: Mommy, I need you!
Me: What do you need? (Because usually it’s a stall tactic.)
Her: Umm, welllll … a hug and a kiss.
*Cue my heart melting because how could I deny her that?*

It's a good thing she's cute.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.