Sh*t My Kid Says



To Norah while they’re in the bathtub:
“You gotta let me play with the dolphin or else next time for a bath you’re going to go in the dishwasher.”


While talking with her Grandpa about why Kyle goes hunting:
“Dad’s gotta shoot a deer in the face because he can’t cut it up while it’s moving!”

(This was a pretty philosophical conversation about where our food comes from up until this point, lol!)


"Look at me, I'm FABULOUS!"

“Look at me, I’m FABULOUS!”


While outside before getting into the truck to go somewhere:
Her: I see a little girl riding her scooter!
Me: I see her too, kiddo.
Her: I think her name is Casey.
Me: How do you know that? (I’m assuming she met her at school or dance or something like that.)
Her (Being completely serious): Because I know everything.


After I turn the TV on to the World Cup of Hockey because Canada is playing and there’s nothing on until baseball starts in a couple hours:
“Moooooom, I don’t like hockey! We’re a BASEBALL family!”


To me, after I take my hair out of its ponytail:
“You look like Uncle Nolan with your hair like that.”

(My brother was up in August and got his hair cut after letting it grow for TWO YEARS.)


To me, after I got my hair cut:
“You don’t look like Uncle Nolan anymore!”


This kid. I just can’t even sometimes.

Sh*t My Kid Says


Age four is a fun age. Full of energy, full of sass, and also full of surprises! Isla has certainly developed her own personality, and it really shows through some of the things she says, both adorable and bizarre.

It’s been a while since I’ve featured some of her gems, so here’s some quotes to make you go “Aww” as well as, “Oh my:”

While sitting at the table:
Her: “Mom, do you know what makes you special?”
Me: “No, what?”
Her: “I’m special.”


“Did you know that lobsters eat …. POOP?!?”


Me: “Please don’t touch the computer, Isla.”
Her: “Why not?”
Me: “Because it’s expensive and I don’t want you to break it.”
Her: “Why not?”
Me: “Because if it breaks we can’t replace it because money doesn’t grow on trees.”
Her: “Pineapples grow on trees!”


Talking about hunting with Kyle in the fall …

“Yeah, so we can shoot a deer IN THE FACE!!!”


Discussing at the dinner table how she’s going to have to learn how to tie her shoes …

Me, to Isla: “You’ll learn how to tie them eventually!”
Her, to Kyle: “Yeah, the lady in the zebra shirt said so!”

(She got the shoes at Footlocker. Ref shirt = Zebra shirt!)


“Moooooom, is it tomorrow today??” 


I can only imagine what Norah’s going to come up with when she can make sentences and not just scream and screech at everything ;)



Out of the Mouths of Babes

Have I mentioned before that 2-year olds are a piece of work sometimes? Seriously, some of the things that come of out Isla’s mouth are both hilarious and bizarre. Needless to say, here’s another edition of Out of the Mouths of Babes!

While I’m sitting at the computer working on a column:
Isla: Uh-oh, Mommy! There’s a bug! (She then walks up to me and wipes bug guts on my arm.)

While eating hot dogs for lunch, cows walk by behind our house…
Me: Look Isla, cows!!
Me: We eat cows, you know.
Her: Uh-huh.
Me: You know, your hot dog is also a cow.
Her: *blank, confused stare*

In Target, while I’m kneeling/squatting down looking at nail polish…
Her: You going potty, Mommy?
Me: No, Isla, I’m not going potty.

While in the hardware store, walking down the bulk nuts & bolts aisle…
Her: Look, Mommy! (Pointing at the random nuts & bolts)
Me: Those are nuts and bolts. We don’t need any of those!
Her: They’re BEEAAUUUtiful!

While at the dinner table, she stops what she’s doing and out of nowhere exclaims:
“Mommy?! YOU’RE DRUNK!”