The Truth About Timelines

Today I have a special guest post by Stephany from Stephany Writes. She’s on a mission to write 50 guest posts in 2013 and I was more that happy to offer up a guest-spot on my blog for her! She’s one of my favourite bloggers and you can always count on her for meaningful, intriguing and thought-provoking posts!
I had originally suggested she write about her thoughts on having kids, which she did in a way, but it turned into something a little more. (And I love it!) So sit back and enjoy, and thanks Stephany for the wonderful post!

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I never questioned whether or not I wanted to have kids.

I grew up in suburbia, where weekends were spent playing outside with neighborhood friends, having cookouts on holidays, and getting as dirty as possible. My brother played soccer, so many nights and Saturdays were spent at the soccer field.

In this world, it wasn’t a question of whether or not you were going to have children. It was a matter of when.

I had a timeline.

Married at twenty-five. (I wanted to give myself time to graduate college and all that.)

First baby within three years of marriage. Second, third, and possibly fourth following behind.

(Yes. I wanted four kids. This was when I was young and clueless.)

Well, I’m sorry twelve-year-old Stephany, but you are now twenty-five and that timeline is moot. Because you are single and have no prospects for marriage lining up. 

It’s funny the timelines we give ourselves. I had no idea I would be twenty-three when I graduated college. I had no idea I would still be single and living with my mom. I had specific plans, but life tends to get in the way of all our plans.

And though I am not living the life I thought I would be living at twenty-five, I still realize I have a good life. I could wish I had a husband and family by now, but I’ve learned to be okay with what I’ve been given, grateful for any opportunities, and present. Being present in the life I have now, not wishing for something that I might not even want in the first place.

I do want to be married. I do want to be a mother. Those are two “little girl” wishes that have never left my heart. (Even when I spent one year co-teaching in a room of 20 two-year-olds. Best form of birth control? Maybe.)

But it’s not the end all, be all for me anymore. I’ve thrown away my timeline. It’s not as important as living in the moment. I need to embrace this time in my life – in my twenties, single, and with the entire world open for me. There are endless possibilities for me. I can go wherever I want, take any adventure I choose to. While I’m not saying my life ends when I get married and all the adventure dissipates, I’m also realizing I need to embrace the freedom I have now. Take a solo vacation. Live by myself. Treat myself when I want. Enjoy every moment. See old friends. Make new friends. Flirt. Go on blind dates. Choose adventure.

People are always going to tell you how you should live your life. No matter what stage of life you are in, people think they have the magic answer that will make your life worth living – even when you think you have a pretty decent life. Don’t buy into the “should be doing”‘s. Live your truth. Embrace your moments. And remember that a timeline is just a guide – it doesn’t have to rule your life.

resizedheadshotStephany is a twenty-something young professional living in Florida. On her blog, you will find stories about her life, details about her health and faith struggles, book reviews, and ponderings of the future. She love dachshunds, football, carbs, cruises, and stepping out of her comfort zone.

Listy Friday

It’s Friday. You get a random list. Surprised? Didn’t think so!
– Wednesday night Isla slept for 4 hours straight, which means I too, slept for 4 hours straight. Except I woke up before her (as in not to her fussing as usual) and panicked because she wasn’t squalking as usual. My first thought? “OMG MY BABY’S DEAD.” Of course, I check her and she wasn’t, and then she woke up to be fed. Ah well. Those four hours of sleep I got were amazing.
– Also, how is my kiddlet already 4 weeks old??? Ridiculous.
– Daphne had some crazy medical issues which resulted in a crazy-expensive trip to the vet. As it turns out, she had some kind of infection. She’s on antibiotics and is doing sooo much better. For the first couple days, she looked like a zombie-satellite dog.

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– We have been having the strangest weather lately. It will be sunny one moment, and then we’ll have torrential downpours the next. It’s annoying, especially if I have plans to walk anywhere.
– I’m impatiently still waiting for my E.I. to kick in. My ROE was filed late, which is less than ideal, and now it’s taking forever for my claim to be processed. Balls.
– Next week I am determined to hit up the Saturday Farmer’s Market. I have a hankering for fresh produce and BANNOCK.
– My mom’s house doesn’t have air conditioning. I have no idea how she survives in the summer. I have a hard time at my own house sometimes and I have air conditioning.
– My blog has really been neglected lately. I just don’t have time to blog! I don’t know how other moms managed to keep blogging regularily with a newborn. When I have a spare moment all I want to do is sleep. Maybe I’m just not a dedicated enough blogger. Meh.

Happy Friday!
What are your weekend plans??

TMI Thursday: Post-partum Edition

It’s TMI Thursday, kids! Shield your eyes, Ethel, it’s the post-partum edition! Also included are a couple things I forgot to mention during my birth story. Yay!

– You know what’s fun? Spraying breast milk EVERYWHERE. This is what happens when your child unlatches from your nipple unexpectedly in the middle of a let down. It was like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, milk edition, in my living room.

– Also fun: Boobs that are hard as a rock because you don’t have the heart to wake your child to eat but your boobs are engorged with milk. The pain!

– The pure thought of your first poop after giving birth is terrifying. Suppositories are your friend. So is Preparation H. They don’t make it any less scary, but at least it’s marginally less painful.

– No matter how much you don’t want to, look down below after childbirth. Why? Well, to make sure everything is healing properly. As scary as my nether regions looked, I know that I’m healing up properly and that I haven’t blown a stitch.

– When your water breaks, it feels like you’re taking the biggest pee ever. And, I didn’t know this until Kyle told me after the fact, but apparently, I did indeed pee while my water was broken. Sorry about that, Dr. O’C! So, not only will you poop yourself, but you’ll pee yourself during labour as well.

– Speaking of pee – because I had an epidural, I had a catheter “installed” (inserted?). So, there I was, post-delivery, with a tube taped to my leg and pee flowing into a bag hanging from the side of my bed. I’m sure my visitors were thrilled to see that. Also – it’s the STRANGEST thing not realizing that you’re peeing. In fact, I nearly peed myself after the nurse removed the catheter the next morning because I was not used to going.

– I’m pretty sure I know what drug addicts feel like when they don’t have any drugs for a long period of time. Because the doctors had pumped me full of fun stuff during my labour (fentanyl, morphine, epidural stuff, and God knows what else), afterwards I had the WORST itches all over my body. It was horrid; I feel a little bad for crack addicts now.

– Be prepared to throw all your dignity and self-conscientiousness out the window during labour. It’s funny, when we first went to the hospital, I shooed my mom away when the nurse asked me to drop my pants & underoos. There was no way I wanted my mom seeing my who-ha. Come pushing time, I could care less. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was me just wanting the damn child out of me, but I threw all dignity out the window. I didn’t care.