Today I have a special guest post by Stephany from Stephany Writes. She’s on a mission to write 50 guest posts in 2013 and I was more that happy to offer up a guest-spot on my blog for her! She’s one of my favourite bloggers and you can always count on her for meaningful, intriguing and thought-provoking posts!
I had originally suggested she write about her thoughts on having kids, which she did in a way, but it turned into something a little more. (And I love it!) So sit back and enjoy, and thanks Stephany for the wonderful post!
I never questioned whether or not I wanted to have kids.
I grew up in suburbia, where weekends were spent playing outside with neighborhood friends, having cookouts on holidays, and getting as dirty as possible. My brother played soccer, so many nights and Saturdays were spent at the soccer field.
In this world, it wasn’t a question of whether or not you were going to have children. It was a matter of when.
I had a timeline.
Married at twenty-five. (I wanted to give myself time to graduate college and all that.)
First baby within three years of marriage. Second, third, and possibly fourth following behind.
(Yes. I wanted four kids. This was when I was young and clueless.)
Well, I’m sorry twelve-year-old Stephany, but you are now twenty-five and that timeline is moot. Because you are single and have no prospects for marriage lining up.
It’s funny the timelines we give ourselves. I had no idea I would be twenty-three when I graduated college. I had no idea I would still be single and living with my mom. I had specific plans, but life tends to get in the way of all our plans.
And though I am not living the life I thought I would be living at twenty-five, I still realize I have a good life. I could wish I had a husband and family by now, but I’ve learned to be okay with what I’ve been given, grateful for any opportunities, and present. Being present in the life I have now, not wishing for something that I might not even want in the first place.
I do want to be married. I do want to be a mother. Those are two “little girl” wishes that have never left my heart. (Even when I spent one year co-teaching in a room of 20 two-year-olds. Best form of birth control? Maybe.)
But it’s not the end all, be all for me anymore. I’ve thrown away my timeline. It’s not as important as living in the moment. I need to embrace this time in my life – in my twenties, single, and with the entire world open for me. There are endless possibilities for me. I can go wherever I want, take any adventure I choose to. While I’m not saying my life ends when I get married and all the adventure dissipates, I’m also realizing I need to embrace the freedom I have now. Take a solo vacation. Live by myself. Treat myself when I want. Enjoy every moment. See old friends. Make new friends. Flirt. Go on blind dates. Choose adventure.
People are always going to tell you how you should live your life. No matter what stage of life you are in, people think they have the magic answer that will make your life worth living – even when you think you have a pretty decent life. Don’t buy into the “should be doing”‘s. Live your truth. Embrace your moments. And remember that a timeline is just a guide – it doesn’t have to rule your life.
Stephany is a twenty-something young professional living in Florida. On her blog, you will find stories about her life, details about her health and faith struggles, book reviews, and ponderings of the future. She love dachshunds, football, carbs, cruises, and stepping out of her comfort zone.