WTF Friday 5.0

Last Friday, I almost died. While vacuuming. Not even joking.

Okay, maybe I’m joking a little, but still, I wish someone would die. Her name is Edith and she’s like that little old lady in that Drew Barrymore/Ben Stiller movie The Duplex who just won’t die. Except it’s not a better house that I want (although I do want one of those), it’s a vacuum. Meet Edith:

She’s about 25 years old, which I think dates back to the Triassic period in vacuum years, and I. Hate. Her. I want a new, sleek, sexy vacuum that doesn’t have electrical tape holding her together SO BADLY, but since this is Kyle’s mom’s and she won’t give it up, I’m stuck with her. “Why buy a new vacuum?? This one works perfectly well!” Yes, perfectly well if the electric tape holds the spliced wires together and the plug-in stays together.

So back to my near-death experience. I was vacuuming away, about 1.5 songs through my house cleaning routine when I went to pull Edith along to vacuum the living room. Her cord was a little tangled, so I pulled a bit more when there was a huge spark and Edith stopped sucking. (Har har har!) Scared shitless, realize that Edith’s cord had snapped in two right at the base. “Great,” I think. “She’s dead! NEW VACUUM!” Except I figure that I should try and fix her just to say that I tried.

I managed to bare enough of the wires to try and twist them back together to get Edith to work again. I plug her back in, turn her on and NOTHING. I was excited yet horrified at the same time. Excited because I’d be able to get a new vacuum but horrified because the MIL loves that stupid vacuum and has issues with holding onto things. I unplugged her and tried again. Success! Expect why did I try fixing her? WTF was I thinking? Now I’m still stuck with her, Edith, the crazy bitch vacuum in the closet who just won’t die. Maybe I should pay off the mob to put cement around her hose and throw her into the drink. Or maybe I should just get myself one of these:

Happy Friday! I hope it doesn’t “suck”! (LOLZ)

Advertisements

WTF Friday 4.0

Hold onto your hats kids, it’s time for …

WTF Friday! Yaaaay!

Today I’m WTF-ing over Kyle and his ridiculous kidneys. This past week he has been home in horrendous pain with kidney stones. Yeow! The killer part? This is the 5th time he’s had them bad enough where he’s had to miss work. FIVE!!! WTF???

I had to take him to the hospital Sunday evening and he was hooked up to an IV with shots of morphine and Gravol for about 4 hours until he felt good enough to get home. Then he was prescribed some wicked painkillers and some stuff to help him pee better. Then, the next day, he still felt horrible, so he went back to the hospital for his scheduled ultrasound (to see how big the stones were) and then checked himself back into emergency. A CT Scan and more bloodwork later, he was prescribed more pills and drugs. WTF?

So, I present to you, my at-home pharmacy, courtesy of my darling:

And the other WTF? The rules that go along with them: (From left to right!)

#1 – Take with plenty of water; Do not take dairy products, antacids or iron preparations with 1 hour; Avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to [real or artificial] sunlight.
#2 – May cause drowsiness or dizziness; (On the hand-out) May cause constipation; Avoid operating heavy machinery or driving.
#3 – Take with Food!
#4 – Take with Food!; Don’t use acetaminophen or ibuprofen;

Basically, Kyle is restricted to sitting on the couch, drinking water (he’s not allowed to have juice says the urologist) and eating dry toast. W.T.F.

We had a good chuckle about it the other night, but I hope he gets better soon. I become a little lost when he’s out of it. The sad thing is that he has several more forming in both of his kidneys, not normal for someone his age. :( WTF.

Well, that’s it! Happy Friday everyone! :)

Friday Food: WTF?

So it’s almost 10pm on Thursday night and after not realizing I have yet to cook anything spectacular and have had no WTF moments, I got nothing for Friday’s post! I was going to make amazing cornmeal jam-buster muffins on Wednesday but a lame doctor’s visit (which I posted somewhat about yesterday) put that on hold. I’ll have something for you next week my pretties, I promise!

For now I present to you my least favourite foods. As in, I will probably vomit if I eat them, or at least protest the meal. We’ll call it a Friday Food/WTF Friday mash up!

So, number one on my list is calamari:

Image found here

I used to quite like it, until I went to a less-than-spectacular pub in town (it’s mediocre at best) and threw it all up later in the evening. (No, I wasn’t wasted!) Now those little tentacles and round little rings make me want to instahurl. Yuck. Moving on …

Number two is stew:

Image found here

Yeah, I know it’s suppose to be good ol’ stick to your ribs home cookin’, but I have never liked it. The veggies taste too much like veggies. The potatoes are too potatoey. The carrots too carroty. Your grandma could cook her prize-winning beef stew for me and I would probably still not like it. Sorry Grandma!

Number three is coleslaw:

Image found here

It’s cabbage. Yeah, dressing makes most things better, but not cold, uncooked cabbage. Or maybe it’s the dressing I don’t like. Hmm … maybe I’ll have to do some investigating in the future. For now, hold the slaw please!

Number four is cinnamon:

Image found here

I don’t hate it completely, but a strong smell of it makes me nauseous. It’s probably because of too much Fireball all at once back in the day. Now strong smells of cinnamon make me queezy. Unless it’s in the form of ooey-gooey cinnamon buns. Oh yes. *drool*

I suppose I’ll end on a high-note with visions of delicious cinnamon buns inĀ  my head.

Happy weekend my homies, and tell me What makes your gut growl in anger?