Don’t Do It

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I do, and regret it everytime.

I am THE WORST for playing Google MD. It’s awful, really. Nodes on my liver? Yeah, I have liver failure. Unbearable stomach pains? Ulcers. Non-stop headaches? Brain aneurysm. Cramping in the lower abdomen when pregnant? Baby’s growing in my¬†Fallopian tube.

Of course, all of the above have never actually happened, but that’s what you’re led to believe when you’re a paranoid person like ¬†myself and Google your symptoms. So – from now on during this pregnancy? No more Googling my aches and pains!! Seriously. It’s causing more stress than needed.

That’s today’s life lesson, folks!

Do you self-diagnose and regret it?

WTF Friday 4.0

Hold onto your hats kids, it’s time for …

WTF Friday! Yaaaay!

Today I’m WTF-ing over Kyle and his ridiculous kidneys. This past week he has been home in horrendous pain with kidney stones. Yeow! The killer part? This is the 5th time he’s had them bad enough where he’s had to miss work. FIVE!!! WTF???

I had to take him to the hospital Sunday evening and he was hooked up to an IV with shots of morphine and Gravol for about 4 hours until he felt good enough to get home. Then he was prescribed some wicked painkillers and some stuff to help him pee better. Then, the next day, he still felt horrible, so he went back to the hospital for his scheduled ultrasound (to see how big the stones were) and then checked himself back into emergency. A CT Scan and more bloodwork later, he was prescribed more pills and drugs. WTF?

So, I present to you, my at-home pharmacy, courtesy of my darling:

And the other WTF? The rules that go along with them: (From left to right!)

#1 – Take with plenty of water; Do not take dairy products, antacids or iron preparations with 1 hour; Avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to [real or artificial] sunlight.
#2 – May cause drowsiness or dizziness; (On the hand-out) May cause constipation; Avoid operating heavy machinery or driving.
#3 – Take with Food!
#4 – Take with Food!; Don’t use acetaminophen or ibuprofen;

Basically, Kyle is restricted to sitting on the couch, drinking water (he’s not allowed to have juice says the urologist) and eating dry toast. W.T.F.

We had a good chuckle about it the other night, but I hope he gets better soon. I become a little lost when he’s out of it. The sad thing is that he has several more forming in both of his kidneys, not normal for someone his age. :( WTF.

Well, that’s it! Happy Friday everyone! :)

The “P” Word

Yesterday I had a lovely follow-up appointment regarding this post. Turns out, after peeing in another f-ing cup, I have an infection of some sort. (And, for the record, if I’m ever asked to pee in a cup ever again I may stab someone). Cue antibiotics!

Anyway, after my bloodwork came back clear the doctor poked at me some more and then said,

“Okay, well, I’ll have you do another urine sample and we’ll check (some weird medical term) and for pregnancy just to rule it out.”

Me, in my head, “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY????” That P word scared the crap out of me. The “just to rule it out” part went in one ear and out the other. Yeah, I know I’m not pregnant, but holy mother-trucker, hearing the Doc wanting to do a preggo test was not on my menu for today.

Yeah, that one was negative and I have some weird infection which resulted in the doctor wanting me to go to the special lab to pee in another cup, but man …. never have I been so nervous peeing.

It’s not that I don’t want kids, because I eventually do. Note “eventually”. Sure, I could probably survive financially right now if I did get knocked up, but it’s really not me and Kyle’s life plan. Other than already living together, our plan is rather traditional. House, marriage, babies. The end.

So yeah, having a medical professional suggest that is terrifying. Maybe I’ll practice abstinence until I’m ready just to prevent all that. I bet that would go over well!

Ever have a moment of panic when you knew nothing was wrong to begin with?