Missing Her

Posted in Emotions, Family, Life by

It’s been six months since my grandma passed away and it still hurts so much to think that she’s no longer with us.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately; I don’t know if it’s the post-pregnancy hormones, but often the smallest thing triggers a memory and I’ll start to cry. For example, I was watching Long Island Medium and I just started sobbing. Maybe it was because the people on the show were able to get some closure after the death of a loved one, I don’t know.

I’m not saying that I didn’t have closure when my grandma passed. We had an amazing relationship and never had to bury the hatchet on anything. Her last words to me were that she loved me so much. I just miss her terribly. I don’t know how my grandpa can do it, coping so seemingly well. Mind you – he’s been working SO much, keeping his mind on things other than the fact that the love of his life was taken from him so suddenly.

This time of year my grandparents were always busy getting ready for their annual trip down south, but no matter how busy they were, my grandma would always make sure to make the time to say “Goodbye” before they left. It was around this time last year when I told my grandma that she was going to become a great-grandma, and she was SO excited! I had to remind her to keep it a secret until December, after they left for the south, and I know it was so hard for her, being the social butterfly that she was. (I swear she spent more time on Facebook than I did!)

The very last time I saw my grandma, I was still pregnant. Although she couldn’t talk because of her stroke, I could see in her eyes how excited she was to see my baby bump, how she looked at it and gently rubbed it with the little amount of strength she had. It hurts to know that she never got to meet her great-granddaughter; Isla would have learned so much from her Nana. I’m glad my grandpa is around enough to see Isla grow, and I can see the love in his eye when he looks at her.

I know you’re not really supposed to stop missing someone, but I know it’s supposed to get easier with time. I’m not sure how much time I’ll need, but I’ll get there eventually I guess.

Listy Friday

Posted in Listy Friday by

– The other day while taking Isla for a stroll with my Mom, we walked past a house with a pallet – A PALLET – of Girl Guide cookies in the garage. Why I didn’t steal 2 or 3 or ALL OF THE BOXES baffles my mind. Talk about will power! Regardless, if that little girl comes to my door offering cookies, she better believe I will buy whatever money I have will get me.

– The first thing to be put into my beautiful Kitchen Aid mixer was not something to be baked, but mashed! Kyle and I decided to mash potatoes with it for our dinner the other night. While it worked wonderfully (they were more like whipped potatoes, which is even better), it was a little overkill. We’ll just stick with the hand masher for now!

– I could probably write a whole blog post about (I probably will in the future), but I’m really irritated by those pushing for breed-specific legislation for “dangerous” dogs. I just wish people would open their minds and do their research thoroughly before wanted to ban an entire breed of dog because of a small number of isolated incidents. *sigh*

– You know how ingrown hairs kind of hurt? Well, ingrown EYELASHES hurt even more! I thought it was a sty (yuck, I know) but I looked closer and it was an EYELASH. Owe, owe, owe, especially when you try to put contact lenses in. Not happening. Oh – and don’t try to “fix” it, because the rim of your eyelid will bleed and you’ll look like some kind of crazy person. Words of the wise, people. Words of the wise …

– I was Facebook lurking a couple days ago and came across a video/story of a doctor who really finds out what labour is like for a woman, pain-wise. It’s quite hilarious, so if you have a spare 10 minutes, you should probably watch the video. Look, here’s a link!

– Sometimes, when I’m in the mall it wherever shopping, I get uber annoyed by the teenaged girls and their mannerisms (OMG, like, totally, tee-hee). Then I remember that I now have a daughter and that may be her in the future. I hope she’s a total nerd so I don’t have to hate myself for hating on teenagers today.

– Isla and I made our television debute on Wednesday! Back in July, I was approached by one of our local TV stations to be on a segment of a show about parenting. I got to talk about being a mom and blogging with a baby! It was pretty fun and awesome to see. Isla was still so tiny in the segment too, since she was only about a month old. Here’s the video:

– For the past 2 years Kyle and I have been using a Tassimo machine to provide us with delicious caffine in the mornings. Because t-discs aren’t exactly cheap (about $7 for a pack of 14) and we each have a cup of coffee a day, it was starting to get costly. To save money, we’ve switched back to using our regular-drip coffee machine, and let me tell you, the wait for coffee in the morning is AGONIZING! I would hit the “Go” button on the Tassimo machine before I get Isla ready to eat and then in seconds, have my coffee ready to sip while I nurse her. Now? It takes forever! I’ll just have to remember to turn the programming feature on so it’s ready when I get up in the morning.

That’s it for today! Have a wonderful weekend!

Currently

Posted in Currently by

Time // 9:30 a.m.

Place // The living room is my most lived in space it seems. Isla is asleep in my lap after eating half of her breakfast.

Eating // I am addicted to grapes. We bought 4lbs(!!) of them at Costco last week (because you can’t buy a small quantity of ANYTHING at Costco) and they’re all gone. Saaaaad.

Drinking // Coffee, and lots of it. The first thing I do in the morning is start my coffee so I can drink it while feeding Isla. I’ve been waking up with massive sinus headaches thanks to the weather, and coffee really helps mellow them out.

Watching // Hurray for the return of fall TV programming!! Sitting in my PVR right now is Breaking Amish, but I’m also loving that Grey’s is back (WTF, first episode? WTF??) as well as Private Practice. I also have Survivor on the PVR, but I’ve yet to watch any of the episodes. Oh well. I haven’t watched it in a couple years, so if I don’t watch this season, it won’t be the end of the world. Oh – and America’s Next Top Model. I know, I’m horrible for supporting the walking toothpicks, but I swear I watch it for the photography!

Reading // I’m still only 5% of the way through Pride & Prejudice, but I haven’t really been reading a lot lately. I also started reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close since I had a 30% off code for Kobo. So far, I’m enjoying it!

Wanting // Spicy food! I’m pretty sure I wrote this for my last “Currently” post, but it’s true! I miss spicy food and would kill for some Thai Coconut Curry soup right now. One day … one day …

Thinking //I’ve been thinking a lot about my job and daycare. Daycare is EXPENSIVE and I only work part-time. Is going back to work really going to be worth it since one entire paycheck will probably go towards childcare? I have no idea. I love, LOVE my job and the potential that it has for my career, but at the same time … I just don’t know.

Hoping // Kyle just booked a “guys only” trip to Las Vegas and goes in a couple weeks. I’m hoping he has an awesome time! And yes, I’m aware that people will probably be all, “How dare he go to Vegas and have fun while his wife is at home with the baby,” but he’s been thinking about going since before the baby came and I’m been pushing him to go. As long as he brings me something back, I’m okay with him going :)

Needing // A shopping trip. I’ve been feeling a little frumpy lately and I think some new clothes would help. When Kyle goes to Vegas, my mom and I are going to go to Kelowna to do some shopping, so that should help a little! It will be Isla’s first non-family visit road trip, so it should be interesting!

Anticipating //Halloween. I generally don’t get excited for Halloween other than to eat mini chocolate bars, but since Isla came around, silly holidays like this one allow me to relive my childhood a little bit. I’m looking forward to dressing her up in her little Jack O’Lantern sleeper and answering the door with her :)

What’s currently on your mind?