Category Archives: Family

Dinner Table Conversations

Posted in Conversations, Family, Friends, Inappropriate, Kara and Kyle by

As most of you may have gathered, I live with two boys, Kyle and Roommate. Kyle and the Roommate are actually really the bestest of friends. They met while going to Welding school together back in 2007 and have been together ever since. (I like to joke that they have a Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, “I Love You Man” relationship)

Anyway, for whatever reason we tend to have rather inappropriate dinner table conversations. Ones we’d never have if our grandparents were at the table, looking at us with scowls on their faces. It is with this in mind that I present to you a new series: Dinner Table Conversations.

While talking about what rape is, or something like that: (I tend to ignore them and only listen to bits and pieces of the conversation)

Kyle: (jokingly) Oh, you know it’s unconventional sex.
Roommate: You mean un-consensual.
Kyle: No no, I mean unconventional. It’s unconventional if it’s in the ear.
Me: …..

*****

Kyle: You know, if we had to eat one of us to survive the zombie apocalypse or something, Kara would be the best choice.
Me: *blank stare* What? Why???
Kyle: Well, I’m too fat and [Roommate]’s too thin. You have a good balance of muscle and fat.
Roommate: He’s right. I’d be too stringy.
Me: Gee, thanks guys …

*****

Background info: Our dogs sometimes act like lesbian lovers.

Kyle: You know, when of them passes away before the other, the one still living is going to be so lost.
Me: Yeah, it’s true. It’s going to be so depressing!
Roommate: Yeah, I mean, who would she 69 with?

**********

Thanks for tuning in kids!

Not necessarily “ha ha” funny

Posted in Family, Jokes, Sorry by

I’ve never been very good at playing April Fool’s day pranks. The best one I pulled what when I was maybe 7-years-old. You see, my dad worked 12-hour shifts and so he was always up and out the door by 6:30 a.m. I thought it would be funny to get up after everyone had gone to bed and pull a prank on my dad. I grabbed the saran wrap from the kitchen and put it over the toilet bowl. No, not the seat part that lifts up, but the cold, ceramic, “OH MY GOD I FELL IN” bowl. Well, my dad used that in the morning before work and he was less than impressed. I didn’t know until I was quite older how mad he was, but he never told me at the time. I guess he just knew that I got him really good.

That being said, I’ve never really been a fan of April Fool’s day, or pranks in general. I don’t mind the odd harmless joke, as in “Oh, I’m pregnant! Haaa, just kidding!” (Which is what Kyle things I should tell my mom this April Fool’s Day), but when my personal belongings are f-ed with, I get quite pissed. Hell, I get irritated when my pen at work goes missing. The roommate has learned not to pull pranks on me after he prank-called my office. (I hid his keyboard, however being the nerd he is, he had a spare.) I contemplated silly-stringing his car but really didn’t want the war to go on forever.

So yeah, I don’t find April Fool’s Day very amusing. I don’t even understand it fully. And what’s with the “It only happens until noon” thing? I never quite got that one either. Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud. Or maybe it’s just my inner bitter spinster. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Get off my lawn kids, and tell me What’s the best prank you’ve pulled, or had pulled on you?

Gung Hay Fat Choy

Posted in Family, Life, Photos, Reflections by

Image found here

For those who don’t know, I’m half Chinese. I get a lot of looks from people trying to figure out “what I’m made of” and when I tell them, the usually reply “Oh, I can see it now.” My younger cousins, who are younger than me, look way more Asian than I do. Anyway, this is all beside the point.

Yesterday marked the beginning of the Chinese New Year, more specifically, the year of the Tiger, a.k.a. MY year! (Or anyone else who was born in 1986. I guess I’ll share.) I’m quite proud of my Chinese heritage. My great-grandfather came over to Canada with his family (my grandfather) and they settled in my hometown, starting up a general store and making an impact. (There’s a photo of my great-grandpa, grandpa and great-uncle in the local museum). My dad is a first-generation Canadian and tries to keep our Chinese heritage alive.

When I was born, my grandparents (who had since moved from my hometown to Vancouver) wanted to help raise me. My mom didn’t like the idea of me being away I suppose, so I never got to. I really wish I could speak Chinese, like really really wish. I know I could take language courses at the university, but sometimes, I wish I knew it naturally.

One day, when the Vancouver Olympics aren’t going on at the same time as Chinese New Year’s, I’d like to go down to Vancouver and take in the sights. The last time I was there was in 2007, but we had to leave the day of the parade so we never watched it. I did get some photos in Chinatown, like this Fu Dog outside a store:


Anyway, I hope every appreciates their family’s history and where they came from. It makes us who we are and will always be a part of us. Gung Hay Fat Choy! (Happy New Year!)

Now tell me, do you add “In bed” to the end of YOUR fortune cookie fortune?