Category Archives: Fail

WTF Friday 2.0

Posted in Fail, Rant, WTF Friday by

Image found here

It’s time for the second instalment of WTF Friday! This week, it’s letter time! (Idea from the fabulous Amber!)

I present to you my irks of the week!

Dear fat lady at the gym,

Seeing you awkwardly trying to quickly get nekkid and change is more horrible than seeing you change at a regular pace. There’s change rooms for a reason. If you’re shy, use them, but who cares if your boobs hang low and wobble to and fro!?

Nakedly yours,
Kara

— —

Dear self-scan checkout user,

It’s not the machine’s fault that you don’t know how to properly use it, nor is it mine. Follow the prompts and you won’t have any problems. No one’s forcing you to use it. And no, I won’t stand there and do it all for you, even though it would be easier and faster that way.

Your friendlyish cashier,
Kara

— —

Dear housing market,

Stop becoming a seller’s market.

kthnx,
Kara

— —

Dear dirt in my eye,

I don’t like how you and the wind team up and attack me as I walk around corners. It really hurts my eyes, and I’m than certain that the people watching me walk down the street think I’m crazy as I thrash my head around dodging dirt.

Bitterly yours,
Kara

— —

Dear sweet tooth,

You are the death of me. Because of you, I feel guilty for skipping the gym this week. More guilty then usual, actually.

Not so sincerely,
Kara

— —

Dear giggly girls at the gym,

I would like to have a nice workout without having to listen to you yammer on about some cute boy or your outfits for the following week. You’re like I’m able to drown you out with my iPod.

Your elder,
Kara

— —

Dear homeless crack addict,

No, you cannot have my camera so you can trade it for crack money. Nor will I take photos of you.

Get away from me,
Kara

Happy weekend ya’ll!

Pukey brown-green thumb

Posted in Fail, Nature, Photos by

My thumb is not green. Well, maybe a little, like a muddy, pukey brown-green, but not a healthy green.

Not too long after I started my job at the paper, the office was presented with a pretty plant for being a great supporter of a local acting group. Apparently I was responsible for watering the plant, even though we received it on my day off before the weekend. The hot. Dry. Weekend. So, of course, we get to the office and the plant is dead. FML.

So, my awesome Grandma bought me those funky watering globes that you see on TV. Yeah, I managed to let the other office plant almost die.

Now I have the reputation of a plant killer, even though I really don’t think I am one. I have two bamboo plants that I haven’t killed, although one is HUGE and needs to have its roots trimmed or something (Can you do that? They’ve taken over the vase!) and an awesome ficus, which has actually gotten bigger and thicker since I adopted it. I don’t, however, water the plants that the mother-in-law has left at our house (well, her house that we’re renting). IMHO, they’re not mine so why bother watering them? It wasn’t in the rent agreement. (Not that we have one.)

Anyway, now I have a lovely little spider plant on my desk at work and it’s so cute and adorable, I really don’t want to kill it! Feast your eyes on its cuteness:

The girls at the office had a good chuckle at me “gardening” my plant into it’s little pot, but I want it to live, dammit! Maybe it’s just the office plants I tend to kill. I’m so busy doing everything else (most of the time) that I don’t remember to water them. To fix this, I’ve put a reminder notification in my calendar for every Friday at 2pm. This way, I can’t forget to water it, right? Right.

You know the saying, “If you can keep a plant alive, you can raise a kid”? Yeah, I like to go by the other one, “If you can raise a puppy, you can raise a kid.” Daphne turned out okay, didn’t she?

Then!

Now!

I like to think I did okay, green thumb-less and all!

Maybe it’s a fur-thumb?

Friday Food: Soup FAIL

Posted in Fail, Friday Food by

So last Wednesday I attempted to make Roasted Garlic Soup, which I found on this website.

I had to roast the garlic in the oven for 45 minutes and it smelled absolutely A-MAZING. Like … OMG. *drool* I absolutely love garlic and my house smelled so … domestic.

I chopped onions, carrots and potatoes like the recipes asked for, sauted them for 10 minutes or so and added my liquids, then let it boil for 35 minutes like the recipe asked me to do.

I whizzed the soup up in our little Magic Bullet since we don’t have a blender (Just a note: The lid gets seized on the Magic Bullet if you whip up HOTTT stuff for too long. Insert mental image of me panicking in the kitchen now.)

The soup ended up looking like this:

Tasty looking right? WRONG! Here comes the fail …

Because I’m not a wine drinker at all, I figured “Hey, why don’t you just substitute white wine vinegar for the white wine? Yeaah, don’t do that. As soon as I put the vinegar in, it just smelled horrible. I figure I’d try it, but no … after a half a bowl, I felt gross.  So yeah, soup fail. I’ll try it again in the near future but WITHOUT the freaking vinegar.

Go ahead, tell me I’m a dumbass …