Pukey brown-green thumb

My thumb is not green. Well, maybe a little, like a muddy, pukey brown-green, but not a healthy green.

Not too long after I started my job at the paper, the office was presented with a pretty plant for being a great supporter of a local acting group. Apparently I was responsible for watering the plant, even though we received it on my day off before the weekend. The hot. Dry. Weekend. So, of course, we get to the office and the plant is dead. FML.

So, my awesome Grandma bought me those funky watering globes that you see on TV. Yeah, I managed to let the other office plant almost die.

Now I have the reputation of a plant killer, even though I really don’t think I am one. I have two bamboo plants that I haven’t killed, although one is HUGE and needs to have its roots trimmed or something (Can you do that? They’ve taken over the vase!) and an awesome ficus, which has actually gotten bigger and thicker since I adopted it. I don’t, however, water the plants that the mother-in-law has left at our house (well, her house that we’re renting). IMHO, they’re not mine so why bother watering them? It wasn’t in the rent agreement. (Not that we have one.)

Anyway, now I have a lovely little spider plant on my desk at work and it’s so cute and adorable, I really don’t want to kill it! Feast your eyes on its cuteness:

The girls at the office had a good chuckle at me “gardening” my plant into it’s little pot, but I want it to live, dammit! Maybe it’s just the office plants I tend to kill. I’m so busy doing everything else (most of the time) that I don’t remember to water them. To fix this, I’ve put a reminder notification in my calendar for every Friday at 2pm. This way, I can’t forget to water it, right? Right.

You know the saying, “If you can keep a plant alive, you can raise a kid”? Yeah, I like to go by the other one, “If you can raise a puppy, you can raise a kid.” Daphne turned out okay, didn’t she?



I like to think I did okay, green thumb-less and all!

Maybe it’s a fur-thumb?

9 thoughts on “Pukey brown-green thumb

  1. Ha! If you keep a plant alive, you can raise a kid…not even close! I’m much better at raising kids than I am at keeping plants alive! I was once trying to grow lavender in a container, but forgot to put drainage holes in the bottom. My lavender never grew.
    And yet I’m a nanny, who’s never been fired….so…..
    whoever came up with that doesn’t know anything. The end.

    P.S. Good luck with your spider plant! :)


  2. I’ve never heard the “If you can keep a plant alive, you can raise a kid” thing – uh oh. The only kind of plant I can keep alive is an African violet – and the only reason I can keep those alive is because they don’t like a lot of water, so it’s perfectly okay if I forget to water it for a couple of weeks :) I’m going to try my hand at window boxes this summer but yeah. My husband thinks it’s a waste of money because I’ll just kill them!


    • I’m pretty sure I heard the plant phrase from the movie “Marley and Me.” (Can’t remember if it was in the book). Jennifer Aniston’s character couldn’t keep plants alive, so they got a got!



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