Category Archives: Life

Guilt

Posted in Emotions, Life, Pregnancy by

I’m going to start knocking on wood now, because you can never be too sure …

Guilt is a funny thing and it hits you at the strangest times. Like how tossing out a giant chunk of leftover lasagna that’s been in the fridge for a week makes you think of starving children. Or driving to work in your nice, warm, heated seat car while people are waiting for the bus in -30°C weather.

For me, when I learned I was pregnant, I had a huge wave of guilt. I felt guilty that it only took three months of trying after being on the pill for eight years to conceive because I know so many people, in real life and through blogging, that have been unsuccessful in many ways. I’ve heard about so much loss that I just feel guilty being happy around them.

To me, it’s like I’m rubbing it in their face. For some, the wounds are still fresh, still very real, and still hurt so bad. I don’t like to bring up my own pregnancy, whine, gripe or groan about it. Hell, I even feel marginally uncomfortable being around them.

For those who have healed and let things be, I still feel guilty. It’s like saying, “Hey, remember that one time … oh wait, no, you wouldn’t.”

I know the last thing people want it a pity party and for me to pat them on the head and say “There there, it will be okay,” because it won’t necessarily will be. I can’t imagine how I would feel if I was never able to conceive or if I did and wasn’t able to carry to term, or even worse … carry to term and lose a newborn. It’s unimaginable and I don’t think anything could ever come close to that pain.

I just don’t know how to act or react around these kind of situations without feeling guilty.

How would you feel?

Settling In

Posted in House and Home, Kara and Kyle, Life by

Well, Kyle and I have been in our new house for a week now! While our official possession date was last Thursday we got our keys the Wednesday night, so we were able to start slowly moving that evening! Really all we did was mop the floors and bring over some kitchen stuff, but it was a great feeling!

Thursday and Friday were spent (mostly by Kyle) moving all the furniture and the rest of the boxes. My brother helped Kyle move on Thursday and he was a huge help. Really, I couldn’t be more thankful for his awesome help! My dad helped on Friday with Kyle’s took box and our queen-size bed, and by noon, we were done moving! It was pretty good timing, if you ask me!

Saturday we used as a day of rest. Kyle had to go back to work on Sunday so we needed a day of “nothing.” It was well deserved since we were both exhausted. Sunday my mom and I cleaned the townhouse top to bottom since our renters moved in Tuesday. Fingers crossed that it all works out okay!

Now, one week after we moved in we’re still settling in, figuring out the functionality of our (seemingly) enormous house. Our living room furniture consists of a horrible old leather chair and some blankets and pillows on the floor (which I’ve lovingly named “the Couch and Loveseat”). This weekend we’ll probably go furniture shopping, although we’re not crazy about having to spend money, having a living room with no furniture isn’t exactly fun either.

I promise I’ll take some photos soon and post them. I know I said that I was going to wait until the place was less messy, but whatever. I’m sure you guys will understand :)

How long did it take you to settle into a new space?

Never Have I Ever …

Posted in Confessions, Life by

I’m seen this floating around the blogosphere for a couple weeks now, so I figured I’d participate!

Never have I ever …

  • Cooked a turkey, or any “big family dinner” food
  • Owned an Apple product other than an iPod
  • Painted a room
  • Been more happy with my life, despite how crumby I feel right now
  • Have I been able to keep a surprise from Kyle
  • Been more excited to move (in 10 days!)
  • Been more exhausted
  • Baked a pie
  • Gone to a yoga class
  • Been to a public pool and not be grossed out
  • Ran more than 5K. (At least not on purpose. Who knows how much you run while playing soccer?)
  • Got to a no-meat diet. Although right now I’m considering it.
  • Not finished a book I didn’t like
  • Gone to the western-most point of Canada
  • Wanted election “season” to be over with so badly
What are your “Never Have I’s?”