Where does it go?

Friendship is a funny thing. When you’re young, you’re bold and walk up to anyone on the playground, asking them innocently “Do you want to be my friend?” They say yes and the memories start being made.

Today, you find new friends where you can. Forced socialization during your university classes, coworkers you get along with, the significant others of your significant other’s friends; the list goes on. Some of these friendships end up being strong, sturdy friendship that last forever; others will  simply be acquaintances where you say a simple “Hey, how’s it going?” in the grocery store or a generic “Happy Birthday, have a good one!” on Facebook.

I have never had a friend where I could not talk to them for three or more months and then meet up with them and have it be like we were never apart. I have friends who I don’t see in that amount of time, but I still talk to them.

It’s a strange feeling when you think you’re losing a friend. You send them texts and messages and they don’t reply, or you get a strained “Hello, Goodbye” in passing. It’s super confusing when you once considered the person your best friend. Do you keep trying or do you let them come to you when they’re ready, going on with life as you normally do? Do you ask them, “Hey, are we still friends or what?” or ignore it?

My friends mean the world to me and it’s confusing when they stop talking to you for no apparent reason. An explanation would be nice.

Why are friendships sometimes more work than they should be? Where do they go when they suddenly disappear?

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6 thoughts on “Where does it go?

  1. How true about friends. Last year it happenned to me where a close friend abruptly stopped seeing me. we were meeting for a coffee – I waited, waited then phoned her house thinking sahe could have missed the bus – NO answer the next three weeks involved phoning, speaking to her son who told me she would ring when she got in – evencalled round BUT no-one answerec the doors. It took a very angry letter where I enclosed the paper,stamp and envelope – I got the answer ‘I don’t want to be your friend any more’ and that was that.
    Now I tread more warely. I am too friendly a person. Now I am more distant.
    Mary

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  2. So true hey. I remember just going up to other kids on the playground all the time and making friends instantly.

    For me, with all the moving I’ve done in the past four years it’s been really hard to build a solid friendship with anyone because that kind of thing takes TIME! I don’t really know where friendships go. It’s sad that if both people aren’t willing to put in the effort then you lose it!

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    • One of my closest friends through elementary school was a girl who had just moved in up the street from me. I wanted to go over and say “Hi” the minute I saw the moving truck, but my mom wouldn’t let me. Oh, to be young again!

      Sometimes I wish I could use moving as an excuse to why my friendships have failed, but it’s not the case.

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  3. Pingback: Chronicles of a friendship foretold « i has good grammar

  4. I relate to this so much. I have had friendships end for very good reasons, and other friendships end just out of the blue. My closest guy friend just one day stopped responding to my messages, stopped calling, stopped asking me to hang out. I’ve brought it up several times before, and he’s said that he had just been busy, and that I hadn’t done anything wrong. It continued, and finally I just blew up at him one day. We had a good talk, but we still never became close again.

    Then I’ve had friendships end in huge fights, and we end up hating each other. Both ways of friendships ending are painful. And now that I’m older, it’s so much harder to start friendships. I’m almost weary of starting friendships because of how much hard work they are. I let people come to me and don’t seem too eager. I don’t know whether that’s a good thing.

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    • Sometimes I wonder if just going out and asking “What the hell?” would help or hinder my current friend dilemma. I’ve been wanting to for a while now but at the same time, I don’t want to lose the relationship if this certain person really is just busy.

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