The screenshot of the countdown on my phone kind of says it all. In 30 days (maybe more, maybe less) our happy little family of three will become four.

It’s still so surreal to think that we’re going to have another little one in the house again. Even more surreal to think that everything is set along the exact same timeframe, right down to the due date. I haven’t had to do any shopping to prepare for this little one – no buying new clothes, no painting of the nursery, no nothing except for buying the “usual” stuff like diapers, bum ointment and lanolin.

While nothing much has changed as far as preparations for the baby arriving goes, that doesn’t mean none are on the way.

Isla will become a big sister. As much as she says she can’t wait to meet her baby sister (which is adorable), I’m more than certain that she doesn’t quite grasp what this really means. Part of me is worried that she’ll act out because she won’t have my undivided attention anymore. It’s been her and I for the past 3 years and now it will be her, I and Baby N. How am I going to help her with the potty when I’m strapped to the couch nursing her sister? How can I tell her that she can’t blast her music and sing at the top of her lungs when her sister is sleeping? I just don’t know sometimes …

I know I’m not the first parent out there to go from being a family of three to a family of four, but I’m certain that I’m not the first one to have apprehensions about making that “leap.” I knew I wanted more than one child, but now that it’s actually happening it’s a “Holy crap” kind of realization; very similar to the one I had when it finally settled in that Isla was due to arrive.

Despite all of these thoughts, I know that when the moment comes, when Baby N decides to make her grand entrance, everything will fall into place. Just like when Isla arrived, I’ll figure out my new role not as a new mom, but as a new mom to two. Winging it seems to be my style, so that’s probably what I’ll end up doing this time.

So, until these 30 days are up (which could be even less than that – I’ll be full term in 9 days), I’m just going to cherish the moments we have as a family of three. I want to savour every moment I have while it’s still just Isla and I at home while Kyle’s at work, and remind her that I’ll always have time for just her.

October 2012

I know I’ll probably miss the simplicity of being a family of three, but I know that I’ll love our family of four even more. I cannot wait for this baby to arrive for so many different reasons, and I’m looking forward to all the challenges that may arise.