Tag Archives: Parenting

Moments of Motherhood: Give them an inch

Posted in Armchair Mayor News, Column, Moments of Motherhood, Parenting by

This week’s Moments of Motherhood column is up at the Armchair Mayor News, and I discuss how you can only protect and watch after your children so much. You can give them an inch, and more likely than not, they’ll take a mile.

Here’s a snippet, and as always, be sure to click through to read the rest:

Early last week, headlines were made when the window of a Salmon Arm elementary school was broken and a fire was started inside one of the classrooms. Luckily, the blaze was quickly extinguished and no charges were laid. Oh yeah, and the culprits? They were 10, 8, and 6 years old. [continue reading …]

I promise this isn’t a news piece, but if you’d like to read the story that I’m referring to, you can do so here.

 

 

 

Confessions: Parenting Edition

Posted in Confessions, Parenting by

I believe that there’s too much pressure on parents these days to be that “perfect” parent. You know, the parent who sews all her baby’s clothes by hand, feeds them all organic food, doesn’t let them watch TV, etc. But is any parent really, truly perfect? Probably not. I certainly am not a perfect parent, but I do my very best to give Isla the best chance to strive.

Nonetheless, here are some of my parenting confessions, because let’s get real, it’s hard to be perfect:

– I let Isla watch TV for a least an hour a day. It’s usually in the morning so I can eat my breakfast without her coming up to me and begging like a baby bird for a bite, or around dinner time when I’m trying to cook. It’s not like I let her watch garbage – it’s almost always Sesame Street, which I have several episodes of saved on our PVR. The house could be on fire and she’ll be happily glued to the TV.

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The baby bird in full begging-mode.

– Isla is a big fan of Kraft Dinner, so every now and then, I cook some up for both of us. I’ll add some fresh diced tomatoes into hers, and she devours it. I know it’s not healthy and who knows what’s in that orange powder, but there are days where you just don’t feel like making yet another ham & cheese sandwich. Ketchup is also her favourite condiment and if she’s not crazy about whatever protein we’re having for dinner, a squeeze of ketchup will usually solve the problem. Again, not healthy, but if it gets her to eat, I’m okay with it.

– I’m totally the bad cop in the household. I take things away, I do time-outs. I’m a total believer in tough love if it’s in the tough moment. I try not to coddle her either; I ‘m a big believer in letting her “cry it out” and some thing that I have a heart of stone for not allowing her screaming to get to me. (Which it does, but I have to practice will power.) If she trips and falls, I try to wait for her reaction before swooping in for to make sure she’s okay. I’m definitely “that” parent in the store who has a screaming toddler because I won’t let her have something. (Last week I was “that” mom at the park who had to carry a screaming toddler to the car because it was time to go home and someone wanted to keep playing.)

– I trust Campbell (a pit bull) with her 99% of the time. (The 1% is when he’s excited and comes barrelling through the house with no regard for anything, myself included.) I hate the stigma that pit bulls have, but Cam is a total sweetheart and loves his humans, and Isla loves her “Camel.” They really are the bestest of buds!

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– Isla has her own Starbucks cup for the cup holder attached to her carseat. I bought her the cheap $1, plastic disposable cup after she was constantly trying to drink my latte, so now she can pretend that she has a coffee too. I’m sure cars that pull up beside me in traffic wonder why the hell a baby has Starbucks, but I promise you, it’s empty.

Really, my points aren’t something that the Ministry of Children needs to be alerted over. Isla has clothes on her back, her own bed to sleep in, plenty of food in her belly, and parents who love her. What more could a kid need? I grow weary of the parenting games, and am OK with doing things that works best for us.

What are your confessions?

 

 

Your kid isn’t better than my kid

Posted in Parenting by

You’re not a better parent than I am.

BUT

My kid isn’t better than your kid and – wait for it – I’m not a better parent than you.

The parenting wars never fail to amaze me, and I’ll be the first to admit that I have on occasion been guilty of “1-upping” my kid. “Oh, your baby isn’t walking yet? Mine was walking at 6 months!” (She wasn’t, but you get what I mean?) If you haven’t read this article of a Conversation Between Two Smug Moms from Mamamia yet, you probably should, because you’ll get where I’m coming from much easier.

When you have friends, coworkers, acquaintances or random people you stalk on Facebook, it’s hard not to compare notes. It starts as early as trying to conceive with,”Oh, it only took you three months? My body is so fertile, it only took one week,” and just escalates from there.

Just like any other competition, you want your kid to be on top and do they best they can. Even if you try your hardest to not compare your kid to others, you end up doing it and when you catch yourself, you try to tell yourself that it doesn’t matter. They’re B-A-B-I-E-S. They get excited if you disappear behind a blanket and then magically reappear 2 seconds later. They’re not yet caught up in the world of “I’m better than you.” Innocent, sweet little babies. They have no idea that they’re in some kind of developmental battle of the fittest.

I’ll use Isla as an example. She didn’t cut her first tooth until she was at least 7 months old. Crawling took her a few tries, and she certainly wasn’t walking until she was about 14 months old. But did if bother me if my friends’ kids were crawling, walking, eating solids, solving logarithms months before her? Sure. Do I try to mind myself that these things are pretty much out of my control? Yep. Does it work? Not really. My husband is always telling me when I’m encouraging her to do something that I’m “just doing it because Friend A’s kid is doing it already.” I always disagree, but really … it’s a little because of that. Life becomes some kind of secret battle, maybe not to the same extremes as in the link above, but it does.

I think every mother out there needs to take a moment just to remember that parenting isn’t some kind of race or game you need to win. There is no “Best way” to parent your child, as long as you’re encouraging her/him and raising them to become outstanding citizens to the best that they can be. Every baby develops differently, and there’s no shame in that. Isla crawled when she was ready, walked when she was ready, and will talk when she is ready.

We need to remember that we’re all doing the best job we can as parents, all in our own way. We may not all co-sleep, feed our kids organic, do cloth diapers, breastfeed until the age of 2, or even 1 for that matter, but we do what’s right for us. I’m not trying to be the best mom on the planet, because I know I’m certainly no where close to that, I’m just trying to be the best mom I can with what I have. And that’s OK.

Yep, I’m alright with that.