Category Archives: Memories

Pink

Posted in Bullying, Emotions, Memories, Peer Pressure, Personal, Social Issues, Thoughts by

Today is Pink Shirt Day, a.k.a. Anti-Bullying Day, a day to wear a pink shirt and let it be known that you are taking a stand against bullying. I don’t have a pink shirt, so I won’t be wearing one today, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t take a stand against bullying.

I don’t have the numbers, but I believe it’s safe to say that every person in this world, in some way or form, has been bullied. And, I bet not a single person can say that they’ve never bullied someone either, even if they don’t realized they’ve done it. Talk about someone behind their back? Yep – that’s bullying. Call someone a moron because they misspelled or mispronounced a word? Again – bullying. Earlier this week I read about a young boy who wore a pink shirt to school to show his support behind the “end bullying” movement and he was made fun of. Wow. Some people’s kids.

When I was growing up, and I’m sure I’ve mentioned it many times on this blog, I was bullied. From my last name (“Puppy Chow!” “Chow Mein!” “Dog Chow!”), to the darkish upper lip hair (“You forgot to shave!”), to puberty symptoms (“You stink!” “Your face looks like a pizza!” “Do you have chicken pox?”). Eventually those insults stopped once I got to high school, but then an onslaught of new gems came on once I cut my hair super-short near the end of my Grade 8 year:

Grade9

I remember standing in the hallway during break and one of the popular (and attractive) Grade 11 guys hurling a sandwich at me and asking me if I was a lesbian. I’m not sure which hurt more – the words or the sandwich. So maybe the haircut wasn’t such a good idea, but did I deserve the insults? Probably not. Needless to say, I grew it out and during spring break got a new, stylish haircut, went to Palm Springs, and came back an entirely new person. That pretty much ended the bullying, and I was able to survive the rest of high school as a mediocre teenager: Popular enough to get by without being made fun of.

Unfortunately, I know that can’t be the same for a lot of kids I knew in high school. So many were never safe from the hurtful words of the “popular” kids, not even those with permanent disabilities like Downs Syndrome, or brain damage from car accidents. There were kids who crumbled to the “popular” kids’ demands, embarrassing themselves just to gain approval of their peers.

I will also sadly admit to being a bully myself. I won’t even say it was to make myself feel better about my own insecurities, although I’m sure a psychologist would say otherwise. I did it because my friends did it, and who doesn’t do what their friends do? It’s too easy to be a sheep. The girl we would make fun of was a little different than us. She dressed differently, she had a lazy eye, walked funny … good enough reasons for us to make fun of her and cast a shadow on her existence. I remember she got mad at one of us and tried to throw a punch. We even laughed at the way she punched.

Now that I look back on it, I feel horrible for being mean to her. I’m not saying we could have been friends, but I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. So, if one day she reads this, I’d just like to apologize for being a horrible bitch to you. Actually – to every person who I may have bullied, I apologize. And to those who bullied me – I forgive you.

We really do need to take a stand against bullying. There have been far too many stories in the news about kids being teased and picked on to the point where they’re hurting themselves, or even worse. I fear for my daughter ; no parent wants to hear about their child being a bully, nor do they want them to be on the receiving end of it. I truly hope that neither becomes true for Isla.

To parents: Talk to your kids about bullying. There’s a saying that my mom would always say to me, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Do it. Teach it. Lead by example. Don’t turn a blind eye if you get word that your child is being a bully because there may be a reason why. And don’t just tell a child who’s being bullied, “Sticks and stones …” because words really do hurt.

I’ll leave you with the TV commercial for Pink Shirt Day. And, if you haven’t already, watch this YouTube video posted by Canadian poet Shane Koyczan, which I originally posted last week.

A Letter to My Teenaged Self

Posted in Letters, Life, Memories, Personal by

To my teenaged self,

There are many things right now that you think you know the answer to, but really, you don’t. Not that you’re completely wrong, but you’re not completely right. Where shall I start?

For one, boys really do think with their dicks. They’ll tell you that they’ve liked you for x-amount of years, but the truth is, they’ll tell you that just so you’ll date them and really, they say that to all the girls they like. Also? They’ll use you. They’ll play with your feelings. They’ll make you think that they like you just to get something from you. But – That’s what being a teenager is. You’ll eventually learn that the right guy WILL come along, and when he does, don’t play with his head. There will be ups and downs in the relationship, but it will always work out and in the end you’ll have no regrets. (I promise!)

You’ll also find that friends come and go. You’ll be upset about it for a while, but don’t fret. High school friendships come and go and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. (Kind of like high school romances). There will be times later on in life where you’ll probably miss that friendship a little bit, but keep in mind that things always happen for a reason and there’s always new friends to be made down the road. It’s okay to be a bit of a loner.

There will be times when you’ll feel pressured to do and try things that you probably shouldn’t. These choices aren’t necessarily the right ones to make, but it will be a live and learn experience. Don’t ever feel compelled to do things just to make people like you; these things will just hurt those who matter the most – your family especially. They’ll still love you – that’s what family is for after all – but don’t lash out at them just because they do. Even if you don’t think it’s fair.

Finally – Remember to love yourself no matter what. Ignore what people say about you, because they don’t know the TRUE you. You’re amazing, you’re perfect just the way you are. Never forget that, even when you don’t think it’s true.

Sincerely,

Your future self

 

2010

Posted in Memories, Reflections by

Ah 2010, how you amazed me. You were fast. You were eventful. And now you’re about to slip away into the past. Let’s recap, shall we?

Resolutions: I made a list of “resolutions” and I think I only accomplished about half of them. I also started my “96 in 1096” challenge and I think I’m doing pretty well, even though I always forget to update the page.

Music: According to iTunes, I downloaded 7.9 hours of music (62 songs). My most played song was “Telephone” by Lady Gaga and Beyonce (122 times!)

Love: Well, I’ll state the obvious: It’s been a FABULOUS year for me for love. Kyle and I bought a house, got engaged and are now planning out wedding. It only took eight years, but it’s finally happening and I couldn’t be happier.

Friends: I’ve let some go and I’ve had amazing times with others. I’ve made new bloggy friends too!

Travel: I didn’t really travel anywhere this year, other than to Vancouver with Kyle for a hockey game. It was amazing and fun and can’t wait to travel to new places next year, including to Northern BC for B’s wedding.

Work: I left my job at one publication for another, worked (and am still working) 2 jobs, and got freelancing work. I’ve kept awfully busy just working, so maybe that’s why I haven’t travelled much.

What’s in store for 2011? Weddings, a new beginning and fun. I’ll become a Mrs!

Happy New Year to all my amazing blog followers! May it bring the world to you and more!