Category Archives: Life

Newly Wed/Newly Weds: Verb or Noun?

Posted in Life, Marriage by

I pondered this question the other day and wondered, “Am I just newly wed or am I a newly wed?”

Confused? I don’t blame you.

Let me break it down for you: For example, Kyle and I just got married a couple months ago, therefore we’re newly wed (the verb). But – are we newly weds (the noun)?

I don’t really picture us as being the noun. The noun screams to me as couples who haven’t been together for an extended period of time before getting hitched and who still have issues and learn new things about each other after they get married.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking those who dated for two year and then got engaged. Old Kara – the Kara who still wasn’t engaged after being with the same guy for eight years and who would hate on people getting engaged – would hiss at those people in a jealous rage. New Kara – the Kara who’s finally married to her boyfriend of nearly nine years – now wonders and hopes that those people are really ready to take the plunge into newly wed-dome (the noun). Regardless of what our age would’ve been (18 years old, to be exact), at two years of dating we certainly were not ready to get married. We still didn’t know each other inside and out. We still didn’t know what buttons to push to make each other angry, happy, or swoon. It took us at least five or six years of being together to figure all of this out, and even now that we now each other really damn well, we still have the odd pissing match.

I think people are almost disappointed when they ask me “How’s newly wed life? Have things changed?” and I respond with, “It’s good and not really.” Nothing more, nothing less. The only thing that has changes is that I love him a little bit more than I used to, our finances have combined and my last name is different. We haven’t uncovered any skeletons from our past all of a sudden or fight about life-changing decisions. We argued about all of that way before getting married. Long story short: Marriage didn’t really change us.

So – with all this being said – I think Kyle and I are just the verb more than the noun. We hashed out all those nitty-gritty details way before we actually said “I do.”

Questions:
What do you think makes a “newly wed?”
If you’re married, how long did you date before you got married? Did that length of time affect your marriage?
If you’re not married, do you think you’ll be the noun or the verb?

To Scale or Not To Scale

Posted in Appearances, Dilemmas, Health, Life by

There’s a certain stigma attached to the weight scale. It tells you that you’re too fat or too thin. It makes you panic and the numbers adjust to what you may or may not weigh. Worst of all, it makes you feel uncomfortable in your own body.

I have lived scale-free for years. When I lived with my dad, he had a scale, but I tried my hardest not to use it. All I feel is paranoia when I step on the scale.

My weight seems to fluctuate around the same mark since I graduated from high school. I’m blessed with good genes and no one in my family is overweight, just big boned thanks to our Chinese heritage (My biceps are abnormally large compared to the rest of my body!). But that scale? I hate it. Kyle’s mom has one and whenever we visit and I always cave and weigh myself.

When I was in high school and played soccer, I weighed around 115lbs. About a year and a half ago I weighed about 127lbs. Sometime around (Canadian) Thanksgiving was the last time I weighed myself, and I think I was somewhere around 123lbs. Today, I have no idea.

Which brings me to the point of this post: Should I buy a scale of my own or should I just “wing” my weight? Part of me says to keep winging it. Part of me says to keep on track and don’t get too crazy since I want to be able to fit my wedding dress properly when I get it altered next week. I also don’t want to exercise and watch what I eat only to have the scale not budge an inch, especially an inch in the wrong direction.

I think the scale only brings more pressure onto ourselves. I believe in the “If it feels good, do it” mantra: I’m going to do what I like and eat what I like, when I feel like it. I also believe that you should take everything in moderation, which is why you won’t catch me doing one-hour workouts at 6:00 a.m. in the morning, or crash dieting on celery, boiled chicken, and egg whites. You will, however, catch me accidentally eating a carb-loaded energy bar after a workout instead of loading up on protein. Live and learn friends, live and learn!

What are your thoughts on weight scales in the house? Are they a demon that glares at you everytime you look their way, or are they a blessing that cheers “Way to go! Only x more pounds to go!”

From now on, I think I’ll answer the question, “How much do you weigh?” with, “Enough to feel good about myself.”