16 Weeks and the Sh!t They Don’t Tell You

Normally I’ll give you the pregnancy update info second, but – considering today’s topic of discussion involves what some may find to be a little TMI, it will go last!

To sum it up, today’s topic will include all of the crazy shit that happens to your body when you’re pregnant, or at least some of the stuff I’ve experienced. I’ve also included links to a couple of Kallay’s blog posts from when she was pregnant with her beautiful twin girls (who are now a whole year old and a bit!).

So, if you don’t want to be turned off from having children, don’t read anything after my “bump” photo! You’ve been warned! (Although I’ll also warn you that you’ll miss out on slight comedic relief!)

How far along? 16 weeks! How has four months already gone by? Sheesh …

How big is baby? He or she is about 5″ long from crown to bum, or the size of an avocado, according to BabyCenter.ca!

Total weight gain/loss: I’ve still only gained about 2lbs since I last weighed myself, which is surprising because I’ve visibly bigger in the tummy area. Oh well!

Maternity Clothes? I haven’t gone out and bought anything more yet, but I may soon. My work pants are starting to get more and more snug, and I kind of have to slouch in my chair at work so they don’t squish my guts. Ugh.

Stretch marks? Still none, but I’ve started rubbing lotion on my belly to help improve my skin’s elasticity. I have no idea how to prevent stretch marks otherwise. (Can you actually prevent them? Because that would make Kyle very happy!)

Sleep: It’s still very hit or miss. I really have to be careful of not drinking too many fluids after dinner or I’ll be up peeing all night. I’ve also started having really bizarre and vivid dreams. The other night I dreamed that I was in Calgary for some dancing competition but lost, so I was pouting in my hotel room. What?

Movement: According to BabyCenter.ca, I should be able to start feeling my baby flutter around soon. So now I’m wondering if I’m actually feeling something or if it’s all in my head. (It’s most likely the latter, but you never know!)

Food cravings: Last week I was craving burritos and sushi. I actually had two burritos last week (on two different days) and they were AMAZING. The sushi craving passed though! The other morning I woke up around 4:30 as Kyle was getting ready for work and had a hunger pang for pickles. That’s the weirdest one yet!

What I miss: I miss being able to sleep through the whole night. I’m so grateful when I only wake up once to go to the bathroom. Too bad it’s only going to get worse! I also really miss being able to take sinus meds for my ridiculous sinus headaches. Coffee helps, but only temporarily!

What I am looking forward to: Being able to feel the baby move. How I’m not going to freak out is beyond me. How can you not freak out when something is MOVING inside you?!

Milestones: I have about 6 different paint swatches taped to the future baby room and have no idea what colour to choose. It’s a pain in the butt! At least Kyle has given up the reigns on the paint colours though and is letting me paint the room whatever colours I want! Ha!

Photo:

Now – Onto the TMI section of today’s post!

A lot of crazy shit goes down when you get pregnant, in case you didn’t know. Shit that goes waaaay beyond morning sickness and peeing all. the. time.

Disclaimer: I will note that not all women experience all or any of these same symptoms during pregnancy. I’m only speaking from personal experience. Just thought I’d get that out of the way now before women start hating on me.

Lucky for me, I didn’t experience morning sickness. The worst thing that happened was that coffee made me feel like puking, so I had to give it up for just over two months. Bring on the caffeine withdrawal headaches! Meat also made me want to upchuck, but I never did. Two bites of protein was enough before I lost my appetite. And bell peppers. Cooked bell peppers still make me want to gag. The smell is horrid.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there when it comes to TMI. I’m talking fluids. Boobs. Poop, or lack thereof.

Let’s start first with how ridiculously sore my boobs are right now. They ache. A lot. I don’t think they’ve hurt this much since I hit puberty and first started growing them. They have become a “no fly” zone in the bedroom, unless approval is otherwise given.

Also? They’re heavy, probably because they’re busy getting ready to make delicious (?) milk for my sweet little baby. As a result of this preparation, my boobs feel weighed down and – they leak. Kind of. If you squeeze them. Don’t judge me for squeezing my own rack, but it does help the achy-ness. But, this weird, clear, fluid comes out as a result (which is normal), and it’s shocking at first but you get used to it once you learn that it makes your boobs feel better.

And then there’s leakage of other sorts. Down there. It’s actually quite annoying because well, I don’t wear underroos when I go to bed (pajama bottoms only) and I now have to strap on a pair of granny panties with a pantyliner (because sleeping in thongs it way too uncomfortable) so it doesn’t feel like I peed myself. The leakage has slowly stopped, but lord, was it awkward. I felt like an 80-year-old with a weak bladder. Bring on the Poise! No one likes leakage and feeling like you’re slowly wetting yourself. No one.

You know what usually happens when you eat a lot of junk food? You poop. You know what happens when you’re pregnant? You can’t poop. You get constipated, and all the fiber in the world doesn’t seem to make it any better. I don’t think I’ve had worse cramps than the ones I had around weeks 8 to 12, all thanks to not being able to poop. Hormones and rapid body changing be whack, yo. And they make you unable to poop. Luckily that has more or less gone away and I’m back to somewhat normalcy.

Another irritating thing I’ve noticed is that I’m soooo itchy. My skin just feels like it’s crawling, and apparently that (among most other things) is to blame on raging increases in hormones. How delightful! I’ve brought a whole new meaning to “it puts the lotion on the skin …” I can’t get enough lotion!!

I think that’s about everything that I’ve experienced so far. Not pooping, peeing myself a little bit, and boob leakage. Ah, the joys of pregnancy. Of course, it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. Like not being able to shave.

Actually, Kallay wrote it best in this (hilarious!) post. Yeah, you won’t be able to shave your legs, but there’s other bits and pieces that you won’t be able to tend to either. Like your va-jay-jay. Seriously, click through and read her post!

You should probably also check out this post she wrote about the love/hate relationship she had with being pregnant. I gotta admit, I’m the same way. I love how I’m pretty much Super Woman for growing another person inside me, how my hair is so AMAZING right now, but I hate a lot of things about pregnancy as well. Like the stuff I listed above. I totally agree with her list!

So there you have it – the TMI part of being pregnant! I hope I didn’t turn you off of becoming a parent some day. I think every woman should know and be warned!

What are some rumours you’ve heard about what happens to your body when you’re pregnant?
If you have had a child, did you experience any of these “symptoms”? Do you have anything you’d like to add to the list?

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2 thoughts on “16 Weeks and the Sh!t They Don’t Tell You

  1. I had a fairly easy pregnancy and I experienced all of the above. It doesn’t get better after pregnancy, either! 2 months of bleeding … the need to wear granny panties occasionally even now, since everything’s still stretched out of place … yeah. Pregnancy is just weird.

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  2. Yes! Your body is no longer a wonderland, it’s a strange far away jungle with uncharted territories and new species. Like, honestly, since when do I have allergies? Pregnancy is cuh-razy. Thank you for the mentions! :D

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