14 Weeks and the Gender Debate

I have learned that there are various questions you are asked when people find out that you’re expecting. Number 1 would be the obvious, “When are you due?” Number 2 is, “Are you going to find out what you’re having?” There’s also a third question, “Was it planned?” but I find that question to be rather insensitive and aggravating and shall be left for a different post in the future.

My focus today is the great Gender Debate – or, Question Number 2: Will we or will we not find out what we’re having?

In Canada, or British Columbia where I live, finding out if you’re having a boy or girl can be a crapshoot. Some ultrasound technicians will tell you, some won’t. If you’re a high-risk pregnancy, they’ll tell you. Sometimes, if you pay a little extra $$, they’ll tell you, but maybe that’s just in countries where abortions and infanticide are common because of gender preference. (If you’ve read Secret Daughter, you know what I’m talking about!)

Anyway – the gender knowledge game is what Kyle and I are currently playing. At last week’s doctors appointment an ultrasound was ordered and I’ll be going in around the end of January/beginning of February for my 20/21 Week ultrasound. My doctor also mentioned that we might be able to find out the gender of the baby if we choose. (Might be if the baby is positioned right, etc., etc.)

Here’s the thing – Kyle wants to know what we’re having. I would rather have it be a surprise. This is something we just can’t seem to agree on. Kyle hates surprises and thinks that knowing would be better for planning the baby’s room, picking out clothes, names, etc. (Although we already have a healthy name list already!)

I want it to be a surprise because really, who doesn’t like surprises!? (Other than my husband, obviously) Personally, I think that your first child’s gender should be a surprise. A coworker even made an interesting point: Have the first one be a surprise, and for any kiddos after that, find out so you know whether or not to keep your boy or girl stuff.

I have no idea how we’ll decide who “wins” this debate by the end of January. “Because it’s MY body” is a weak argument, IMO. (As is, “YOU DID THIS TO ME!” while in labour, lol) If anything, we’ll end up dong a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors to settle things.

Regardless of whether or not we find out or not, boy or girl, as long as it’s healthy! (I know, such a horrible cliché.)

Now, onto the regular pregnancy updates:

How far along? 14 weeks – I’m now in my 2nd trimester!

How big is baby? About 3 1/2 inches, or the length of a lemon according to BabyCentre.ca.

Total weight gain/loss: At my appointment last week, the doctor informed me that I have yet to gain any weight, which is normal and nothing to worry about! (Which makes me also wonder where the hell all that food I’ve been consuming has gone!)

Maternity Clothes? None, but it’s getting harding to keep “regular” pants on when I get home. I go right to sweats, yoga pants or pajama pants as soon as I can.

Stretch marks? None!

Sleep: I’m slowly gaining more sleep during the nights, which I’m sure will be ruined when I get bigger. I’ll take what I can get.

Movement: Still nothing …

Food cravings: Nothing that seems out of the ordinary. I’ve really been wanting sushi and Chinese food lately though.

What I miss: Being able to comfortably fit into my favourite pair of jeans. They’re just a little too snug to wear all day.

What I am looking forward to: My ultrasound appointment at the end of January and maternity clothes shopping with my mom in the new year.

Milestones: Hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the second time was absolutely amazing. Kyle got to hear it as well, so that made it extra special! It was a lot easier to find this time than during my first appointment – the doctor found it right away! Last time the little bugger kept moving around and the heartbeat was hard to find. I guess the fact that it’s twice the size now helps too!


14 Weeks! I look like I just got out of bed because I just woke up from my post-Christmas breakfast nap!

Now … Questions!
If you have a child – did you find out the gender or not?
If you don’t but eventually plan to – do you want to find out?
Why or why not?

Happy Boxing Day! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

7 thoughts on “14 Weeks and the Gender Debate

  1. We found out what we were having – I’m horrible with surprises, so I wanted to know – Nathan didn’t, but when we were at the ultrasound – he changed his mind :) Next time around – I don’t think we’ll find out. Nathan’s parents want a granddaughter SO badly – they were really disappointed that Topher was a boy. They love him, but lately they’ve been teaching him to say “I want a sister, Mommy!” Ugh. What if Kyle found out – and didn’t tell you? :)


    • I don’t know if Kyle would be able to keep a secret! He says he could but I doubt it. Who knows what we’ll end up doing.

      That’s too bad that Nathan’s parents were disappointed! So far, none of our parents have told us what they’re hoping for, which is great. Our friends want us to have a girl so their daughter has a playmate :P


  2. We found out because both of us are too impatient to wait! Plus, we liked being able to call “it” a him and start connecting with a little boy. I totally understand those that want to keep it a surprise though! We are keeping the name a surprise until he is born though so we have one last little secret between the two of us.


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