Dear Lab Nurse,
Please be gentler the next time you take my blood samples. I feel you’re an evil vampire in disguise. My arm is killing me still.
Your human prey
Dear Ice Hiding Under the Snow,
I don’t appreciate your attempts to assassinate me in the morning while I’m walking to my car. While you’re great for skating, you’re not so great when I slip and fall on you. Please melt and go away. I hope you understand.
Dearest Coffee Mug,
Don’t ever leave me, especially when you contain the substance that prolongs my existence and patience. May you always keep my caffeinated beverages hot and delicious.
Dear Union for Job #2,
While I appreciate your efforts to making my job better, I think my union dues could go towards something better than a 5-year membership pin. The bubble mailer may have been overkill as well.
Cranky, Under-Paid Employee
I’m glad you girls are so supportive and awesome. I promise not to put you in puffy salmon-coloured taffeta bridesmaids dresses. As long as you do everything I say. Just kidding! You three are the best.
All the best,
Kara’s Inner Bridezilla
Thank you for being so patient with me and all my wedding planning ideas. I promise to let you have a say in some of the details. You’re the best guy a girl could ask for! I can’t wait to be your wife.