Confessions

Posted in Confessions by

Am I the only one who immediately starts singing the song by Usher when I hear this song? No? Good!

Now, here are some things I must ‘fess up to:

– I sometimes log into Facebook in Kyle’s name to peek on people who I know who have blocked and/or deleted me. (Stalker, much?)

– There is a dress sitting in a ball in my closet that is handwash only. It has been there since New Years 2012.

– My childbirth experience did not put me off of having another baby. In fact, I’m looking forward to having a second child. (But not in a crazy-soon way. I’m no Jessica Simpson.)

– I am one of THOSE parents who thinks that their child is the cutest. But seriously, my daughter is THE CUTEST. Don’t deny it.

– When I go to put on a pair of shoes that I haven’t worn in a while, I am terrified that a spider has made a home in the toe, so I frantically shake my shoes before I put them on. Especially my winter boots.

So, there you go.

Anything you’d like to ‘fess up to today?

Diving into Swimwear

Posted in Appearances, Body Image, Personal by

About a month ago I signed Isla up for swimming lessons. It’s something that I did when I was a baby, and I really think she’s going to love the water. The only thing I have to do is deal with my extreme distaste for public pools for two days a week for a month and we’ll be good. Oh, and the whole body image thing.

Ever since writing this post a few months ago, I’ve really been trying to accept my post-baby body. Really, it’s nothing to be ashamed of; I’ve lost all of my baby weight, which is amazing. I credit the entire loss to breastfeeding along, because with the calories I lose producing milk have made me a ravenous fiend. Kyle still thinks I look great, and while I appreciate his words and believe him in a way, I’m still a little disheartened and grossed out by myself – Mostly my stretch marks.

I’m really not looking forward to donning a bathing suit. I went shopping for swim wear on Sunday because my boobs got ginormous (compared to what they were, say, in high school) and because I wanted to find something to hide my stretch marks. I think these little bastards are what’s getting my down the most. Yes – I’m still trying to remind myself that they’re my “honour badge,” but it’s harrrrd. Like I said in that linky post above – I’ve dealt with body and appearance issues all my life. Chock it up to low self esteem. It’s a curse.

I pondered getting a nice one-piece bathing suit, but after looking at my choices (which are slim to none in the middle of December, I might add), I thought, “What about a tankini? I can still have the comfort of a two-piece but the cover-upage of a one piece! WIN!” Yeah – not so much. My boobs fit the cups of a medium just right but the tummy section is too loose. A small can barely contain my boobage. Ugh.

Anyway, after leaving the swimsuit store feeling rather defeated, this is how I felt:

Kyle pointed out that I shouldn’t be so worried about what I look like since Isla’s swim class is going to be full of other moms who are going to have similar body appearances as myself. Good point, my love. But – it still doesn’t help the fact that my boobs are ridiculous. Oh, and since I’ve been doing zip-all for physical activity my ass is all gross and saggy and ugh and my old bathing suit bottom doesn’t fit so hot.

But, with her swimming lessons starting just around the corner, I’m just going to suck it up (and in) and go with what I have. I’m going to TRY and accept my post-baby body as it is and done a bikini for the first time in a couple years. I’m going to keep reminding myself of what Kyle said to me, and I’m going to be grateful for the fact that I’ll be submerged in a pool so my “flaws” will be underwater anyway.

Now, just to find a top that will cover my ta-tas accordingly.

Listy Friday

Posted in Listy Friday by

– I still can’t believe it’s 2013 already. Last year seemed to blow by so quickly with everything that happened, and now that we have Isla in our lives, time is flying by even quicker!! I hate making New Year’s Resolutions, but I really want 2013 to be the best year that it can be. I have a feeling it’s going to be GRAND :)

– Isla was born with a lot of hair. Some of her hair fell out in the places where her head rested while she slept. The hair that didn’t fall out kept on growing. Now she has a little “mullet” in the back of her head and it’s HILARIOUS. I can’t bring myself to trim it though. It’s too funny to cut, but one day I’ll get it done. For now, see what I’m talking about:

– I’m afraid that Daphne’s is getting crankier in her old age. She’s becoming more testy towards everything and it worries me that she’s going to hurt someone. She’s already told Campbell where to do and how to get there several times … And I hope it doesn’t escalate to something more one day.

– Isla is trying to crawl and it’s hilarious to watch! Because we have laminate flooring she can’t get her hands and knees going at the same time, so she just pushes herself backwards everywhere. If it wasn’t all wintery and cold she’d have no pants on so she’d have more grip, but the floors are too cold. Boo. We’ll get there.

– The weather is starting to get cooler these days. We were blessed with a abnormally warm November and December and now when it dips to -10°C/14°F I’m shivering like crazy and cranking up the heat. I have a feeling once we get our “regular” cold blast of -20 + Wind chill weather next month I’ll be even more whiny. I hate the wind. HATE.

– I still can’t believe that Isla is 6 months old. Where does the time go, really? I’ll be back to work before I know it, and I’m sure I’ll be full of anxiety for leaving my little Lovey at daycare for a whole 5 hours. Ugh. I’m not looking forward to it, but I am, if you understand what I’m saying. I don’t want to leave her, but I’m looking forward to going back to work. Maybe work will create an employee daycare centre. There’s enough kiddos being produced by staff to warrant one, I’m sure ;) (I’m not even kidding, actually. There are at least 5 employees that I know of who have children under the age of 3.)

– Umm … that’s all. I’m boring.